Wake up

Today was my first day without a job in a long time. In just one week, I would have completed seven years at a consulting firm, but various events piled up, gradually aligning with a very basic yet powerful idea: finding a purpose.

What does that mean? I’m not entirely sure. But I can list a few things that, as a designer and creative, brought me to this point.

1. I fell into a rhythm where many of my tasks were done on autopilot.

When I realized I knew what to do without asking why, I knew I had fallen into a silo.

2. I let “productive” mode overshadow the creative one.

So many processes aimed at standardizing creativity ended up prioritizing organization over creation. I spent more time planning what needed to be done than actually doing it.

3. I believed in the fantasy of the corporate ladder.

For a few years, I convinced myself there was a clear path to follow. Until, like in The Matrix, I realized there is no spoon (or ladder).

4. I lost individuality for the sake of the common good.

Being good at teamwork is important, until you put more effort into playing with others than into your own game.

5. I almost gave in to believing my worth depended on my job.

The most dangerous reason of all: believing that I am what I do, what I dedicate myself to, or what I say. The truth is, we are all of that, more, and at the same time, none of it.

Each of these reasons emerged gradually over months. When I noticed, I began discussing them more frequently with my therapist, and then I saw clearly that the time for a choice had come.

The red pill or the blue pill.

Good thing I’ve always liked red.

You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes